Attitude NSV, Motivation Confusion and Mini Treats Update!

Today is turning into a mixed bag for me on the road to a healthier life...

On the plus side I have apparently reached a point in my thinking process that is helping me out.. I have started to look at sites about Barcelona (yeah i know i'm not going for a lllooonnngg gtime! LOL but i'm bored this week!) and after opening the first one (Time Out Guide) the first section I clicked to go to was the one for Sport, Health & Fitness! WOW! 

In the past I would have unswervingly headed for the restaurant or attractions pages first, and probably wouldnt have even bothered noticing there was a section with the words health or fitness in it... So yay me for starting to re-gig my thinking to get on board with the concept that this is about a permanent lifestyle change and not just a temp situation while on a 'diet' :-)

Heading up the minus cheer section is an odd one, as its not really a minus in the normal way but it is causing me a few hiccips ... I am really starting to feel so much better, I can run up the stairs! and do so much more than I used to be able to, and I am also looking better with clearer skin, shinier hair and much better shape all round, esp my calves, butt (GO! Reebok Easytones! Hup Hup Hup!), waist & face/Chin,  and, over the last 10 days or so I have also had a fairly serious drop in appetite, most noticably in not wanting to eat rubbish!

Now, all of this is progress that I have been desperate to see, which of course is great! but there're a catch it seems.  I am finding it harder and harder to eat enough points eveyday (never thought that would ever be a problem for me but there you go!). I wasn't ever a big snack kind of person, I more ate huge meals with desserts/extras, but as I can no longer deal with portions like that I am having to add snacks that I basically don't want and the whole idea just seems counter-production and really silly!  I know that if i don't eat enough that this is going to have a knock-on effect on future loses and on my ability to maintain those loses too but I can't seem to see this as anything but a backwards step.  I have this voice in my head that is yelling at me something along the lines of "if you eat a few less points everyday then you are going to start to look/feel even better even quicker" and its getting harder to ignore when I am not only so happy with the changes I can see so far but also dreading the coming heat of summer and all that means when you are overweight (you all know so I dont have to spell that one out!).  I guess time (and the scale) will tell me soon enough whether this is a blip or a bigger issue I have to get to grips with to move forward...

Last bit of this post is to say that I have updated my Mini Treat @ Mini Goals page... I've added links to various things on there so that people can see what i'm up to.. as always comments or suggestions are very welcome!

New Mini Goal for Summer...

...Since i have now reached almost 2st off I have decided to add a few more pounds to my goal for July.

I am now aiming for the nice round number of 4st off by July 18th... It's only another 6lbs over my previous goal but it feels like it will be way more of an achievement as it will also put my BMI under 50:-)

I have added a countdown to help keep me focused on this.

Wish me luck! ...

Paella = Piggery! Or does it?? ...

I have a  new challenge to face this week... in the form of heading out to eat at La Tasca on Thurday night (Girl's night out for my birthday :-) ). and there are 3 reasons why its going to be a toughie:

1/ Its the Paella Fiesta Night - meaning free samples of Paella being handed out, and boy its hard to turn down free food, seems so wrong somehow lol

2/ We have a voucher for 50% off the Tapas to Share menu, which as i'm sure everyone knows doesn't mean your night out costs you half as much, it means that the non weight challenged in the group will just order twice as much!

3/ £10 Pitchers of Sangria!! including a new extra fruity one that I havent tried yet   'enough said really  ......

Now, pre this round of weight watchers I would have said, hey its my birthday and I'll eat/drink enough to make me sick if I want to :-)   but, my 2st goal is wavering in sight like a low-cal mirage and I'm not about to blow weeks of work for one night out, not to mention, at my age hangovers are brutal 2 day affairs and just not worth it  :-( 

So, my plan is this, I have persuaded my dear friend Tracey to share a paella de carne with me, meaning only 8 points for my main food, less temptation from the free Paella, not being hungry when desert is mentioned and still being able to try a few bits of tapas (going to aim for around 7 points worth) along the way while leaving enough saved points and/or ap's to take care of the boozy stuff and end my night relatively unscathed ...

I am going out again on saturday for a family birthday lunch but its carvery style so easier to manage and won't need any extra points for that, just have to stick to a main course which is easy when I can pile on the veg :-) So far I have 8.5pts saved (all of which will most likely bite the dust on thurs!) and I plan to add another 12 at least by Sat so between those and some more of my ap's if I need them I can have a little tipple on Sat night and still sleep like an angel :-) 

Wish me luck, or send sick bags to angela@birthdayblowout.ugh!  ...

Reebok Rules!!

Just a quick post before I hit the hay...

For mother's day my wonderful hubby and children got me a pair of the Reebok Easy Tone trainers that I really wanted.. and I hate to use such an overused americanism but nowt else will do..

They are AWESOME!!!! 

I wasnt too sure to start with as the first couple of times I wore them it was a bit odd to feel yourself wobble! lol. and I didnt walk far enough to really try them out, but since then I have walked a lot more in them and can really feel the difference compared to my normal Nikes (used to be my brand of choice but see ya!, sorry!). The best bit is I can feel the toning effect in a bit of my calf - the outer edge - that doesnt seem to get used so much when i'm swimming so its great to know that another bit is toning up :-)

I always wonder if these sorts of things are a gimick and normally avoid them.. but this one works exactly like it says on the tin... if you have been thinking about getting a pair....then...

JUST DO IT!!! 

sorry!  Just couldn't help myself :-)))))))))))

It's all gone quiet, said Rhubarb!...

...Too quiet, said Custard

I am at a bit of a loose end this week with only one child in the house (the other's are on holiday with my mum, god bless her lol). I have been enjoying a bit of down time, and the quiet, especially the quiet!  but, after a couple of days of this now I am starting to get bored, and that is sending out diet SOS's which would normally make me very afraid  - when I get bored I eat, because it fills in the time and calms me down - guess I so rarely get a chance to even think about being bored that I simply don't have a clue how to deal with it :-( 

Except! .. the difference this time is that I'm the one in control, (So good to write those words!) I am feeling really focused this week as its my birthday on Sat and I am hell bent on getting another 2lbs off this week to give me a nice rounded 2st off before I have to face being officially only a year away from the big 4-O!  *gulp*

Instead of sitting about this week (apart from today - preparing for bathroom overhaul = workmen and leaks, dont ask!) I have a battle plan, which includes lunch with some friends tomorrow, followed by a mooch round the shops (hey it's exercise if we walk fast! LOL), a playdate for little squirt at the pool on Wed, and a play in the creche for her on Thrus morning while I hit the gym for an extra boost.  And as always I will be going to the pool tonight and Wed & Friday nights and doing at least 2km each time with a plan for 2.75 on Friday...

This control thing is funny, it kind of bleeds through into other areas of my life, I feel more like I can achieve more in other areas, and its a great feeling to have.. long may it continue ! 

Week 10 Weigh-in Results...

... I have decided to post my weekly wi results in separate posts so that I can keep track of them better :-)

This week's result is that another 3lb has left the building! :-) 

That makes 26lbs lost in 10 weeks! meaning I am only 2lbs away from losing 2 Stone.
Wish me luck for this week - I really want to get to the 2 stone mark for my birthday this weekend! 
I plan to wi a day early on the Saturday as I will be partying on Saturday night! lol

To meet or not to meet...

... This week I have told 4 new people that I am doing weight watchers, and the first thing all of them asked was which meeting I go to... and they were all equally surprised when I said I didnt go to a meeting, that I track online, wi at my health club and motivate myself.  I also posted a comment on this subject on another blog that I always read (http://cosyjos.wordpress.com/  please give it a look if you haven't already, this lady is great and helps keep me on track!)

This reaction really made me focus on why I don't do what people consider the norm of going to a meeting every week. First off let me say that I have no opinion against ww meetings (and indeed I get a bit of extra support some weeks from a lovely lady on facebook who is a ww leader and runs a facebook group for the people who attend her 2 meetings and anyone else who wants to join in) and I actually have great respect for people that do go to these meetings and wi every week in front of a whole room of people, especially when they know they have had a bad week and the scales aren't going to be kind - that takes more courage than I probably have! :-) 

I have a few reasons for not going to meetings. Its just not me for a start, I have never been a group joining kind of person, too independant for that I guess. I also don't like the constraints of having to show up at a certain place and time every week - I would feel pressured by that and would rebel against it lol

If I had to clarify my choice then I suppose my main reason would be this:    I dont want to have to spend the next few years of my life needing the validation of a ww leader/group to keep me on track, I believe (rightly or wrongly) that if i cant lose the weight by motivating myself then how would I be able to live with maintaining it in the real world and just getting on with my life? The answer is i'm not sure I could if I had needed that much help,support and validation to get to that point. Bottom line for me I guess if that i'm not willing to take the change on this, at least not this early in the game when I am finding it easy(ish) to motivate myself.

I might re-consider meetings as I get nearer goal and it gets harder to lose every week and when I need inspiration on how to live on less points. I am always open to shaking things up when something isn't working anymore, so I would never say never,  but for now I am really enjoying being accountable to myself and having the oomph to get on with it knowing that I am making that effort for me alone and not because I dont want to be embarrassed in front of people in a class next week!

Even God had a rest day...

... So, why do I feel like I shouldn't?  Last night I should have been at the pool bashing out at least 75 lengths, but I didn't go, I just couldn't get behind that idea. And now I feel lazy and annoyed at myself about that :-(

I guess everyone has days like that, I had dealt with a long stressful day and just wanted to sit on the sofa, play and chat on facebook and have my dinner without feeling like I had to rush to get everything done in order to get to the pool for 8pm! Some days it just all gets a bit much and I guess yesterday was one of them.

But, the result of that decision is that I am now stressing about not getting enough exercise this week, and about the fact that not going could so easily set me on that slippery slope of going less than I need to in other weeks... and mainly that it means I won't get the 5lb loss over the next 2 weeks that I would dearly love to get as that would mean having lost 2 stone by my birthday...

I am on track with my points, should end Saturday with a few to spare, so I am hopefully looking at getting a couple more lbs ticked off this weekend anyway, but it's almost like I feel if I havent put in the effort on the exercise front that I won't deserve it!  One of these days I need to stop being so hard on myself, but it seems this isnt going to be that day...

Reflections from the Cross-trainer...

... Since my post last night I have been doing some serious reflection on the way I felt and getting it put into perspective, I think :-) I am now 9 weeks into my ww eating plan and new exercise routine and am down a fair few inches and 23lbs. I dont think I've looked yet at the bigger picture and the fact that these results are pretty damn good and should be recognized!

I actually feel really good about sticking with it this time round, I already feel so much better than I have done in years and that is providing real motivation to keep at it - Ok so the gym  last night was kind of a struggle and with all the swimming I have been doing I was stunned (and disappointed) at how tough I found it.  but the important fact right here and right now is that no matter how tough it was - I will be going back to try again! 

I have the right attitude this time, I know that if I keep showing up it will start to get easier and i'll just keep getting better, stronger and fitter, I am aiming for health and fitness this time and not just letting the numbers on a scale be the be all and end all, it helps me to see this as heading to more of a rounded goal that improves my whole life and not just my waistline. Hopefully this little nugget will give me an emotional cushion in the first week I do get a gain as its bound to happen at some point ... the real difference this time around is that when it does i'll acknowledge it, move on, and try and do better the following week.

The fact that I can now see clearly that having a bad week (or even several!)  isn't the end is a real epiphany for me, that one tough moment doesnt have to cause a landslide that ends my resolve and ultimately my progress is something that hasn't ever really 'stuck' with me before, and I'm finding it fasinating  LOL

Gym Droop! ...

... This is the first time i've posted twice in one day but I want to remember how I feel at this moment - and that would be confused, mostly ..

I have just been to the gym for the first time in 5 weeks, and I think it counts as a bit of a bust, but then again, maybe not, hence my confusion! 

On the plus side I did double the amount of time on the cross-trainer - and at 4 levels higher - than I could do before, so that was a win, and while on it I noticed how much less my butt jiggles, so a good change there too and I can walk comfortably at a much faster pace on the treadmill so I have to see that as progress ..  

Heading up the minus column is the fact that I was struggling to do 10 reps on the weights, when I could do 12-15 with little drama a few weeks ago. and then after just 50 mins I had legs like jelly and had to call it a day :-(

I really don't know what to make of this, on one hand I have been ill, and I haven't been there in a while and have only been swimming once in the last 2 weeks, so that's bound to have had some knock on effect but on the other I have been seriously improving my fitness by all the swimming I have been doing so surely I should have had more stamina than this? , or have I been improving as much as I thought? after tonight I'm not sure of anything anymore ?!?! LOL

I guess to cap it all, I should consider this as a wake up call of sorts, a sign that I am right to want to start spending more time in the gym and less in the pool as I need to work more on my overall fitness and make a concerted effort to start a proper strength training programme. Building a bit of muscle will help my weight loss, and get me feeling stronger and more like I am getting somewhere, which after the bummed out way I felt coming out of the gym tonight I could really do with.

Scale Shocker! and the rot starts to creep in...

... after deciding that I needed to be a good lil ww convert and track my weight every week,  I marched (read: shuffled slowly with shaking dread!) to the scales on sunday morning, and, GOT A 3LBS LOSS!!! WHAT?!?  ... I am still reeling a bit from that number, I cant for the life of me work out how after 2 weeks of iffy eating and just about no exercise i got a loss of any kind, let alone another 3lb ticked off ... I am starting to build a little muscle and that will be working for me but I still don't get it ... however i'll take it and keep moving downwards  :-)

But, as always the good news comes with a side order of not so fabulous LOL ... when I was at the pool on Friday I felt good (great even!) to be back swimming again and was even happier when I got to 100 laps :-))) ... but I wouldn't be clever to ignore the little voice in my head that at about the 60 length mark piped up with "I could really go for 10 mins on a cross-trainer right now to break this up a bit". The sad truth is that as much as I am a true waterbaby and love love love my swimming, I am starting to get a bit bored :-(   It's been a few weeks since I was last in the gym, and I would like to know how much better I will be in there after all these weeks of swimming and slimming!, and I really feel the need to have a cardio workout that involves doing more than one thing ... and of course it makes sence, my body is getting used to swimming and i have noticed in the last 2 weeks that its getting easier and so harder to keep my heart rate in the right zone.   So tonight I am heading back to the gym to test the waters (no pun intended! LOL) ... results to follow: 

My First Century :-)

I DID IT!!!   after 10 days off with no swimming due to illness (mine and kids) I got back to the pool yesterday and managed to do 100 lengths for the first time!   that's 2.5km !!   I was on cloud 9 for all of last night and being good with my eating choices has been a breeze today because I am still on a high!  ... guess I actually needed a rest LOL

Its been a tough tough week, but I am ending it only being over by 4.5pts .. I can live with that :-))

WI tomorrow is going to still be a shocker I think as I must have had a gain last week that I just wasnt brave enough to face :-(   but, I am feeling better, and back in control again and i'll face the numbers and aim to get at least another 2lbs off by next sunday ..

A Drowning not waving moment! - WI Dread & Denial :-(

ok, so last week I had a really BAD! week, I ended Saturday  at 19.5 points over for the week :-( and I fully expected a gain (figured I couldnt not get one!)..
So, instead of facing the music I decided to bail and not wi, yeah yeah, wrong plan, I know! and it really has been, not having a start point or knowing how much damage I did last week I have been floundering this week too - with one and a half days to go I am 11pts in the red!
I do have mitigating circs in that I have had a lousy head cold & stomach bug, and sick children as well, the net result of which has been no swimming and zero gym time in the last 10 days.  The problem of course is no exercise+illness (mine & Kids)=boring stressful days=BIG TIME MUNCHIES, especially at night when I am normally out doing my waterbaby routine and so safely away from the fridge :-( 

Ok, so enough of the pity party and on to the (planned!) solution. As of yesterday I am feeling not too bad, and last night I didnt want to push it but tonight I am heading to the pool and will try and rack up as many ap's as possible, I need 8 ap's to wipe out my points debit, and normally that wouldnt be hard but not sure about doing that amount of swimming today after a break and when I still don't feel 100% - guess I'll be reporting one way or the other in my next post - I will WI on sunday and deal with the result whatever way those little numbers swing , denial isn't good for my blood pressure :-)    watch this space

Creepy Crawley Calories...

... ok, so i'm not having that great a week so far, my points tracking week started again on Sunday and in the last 3 days I have gone 7.5 points over (have covered this using activity points earned on tuesday), which, on the surface doesn't sound that bad .. but I just don't feel very in control at the moment and i'm really not sure why !?!

I was never one for absently eating stuff without realising I was doing it - I was a paid up member of the eat the whole box and stuff it gang -  i knew what I was eating!   but this week I have found myself eating bits without even really wanting them, like giving the kids ginger biscuits and putting one in my mouth as I handed them out, and giving them dried fruit and grabbing a handful of cranberries myself ... its just odd because I never ate like that before so not sure why, after 7 weeks on the ww plan i have started doing this now.

anyway, the good news was that at my last WI, when i lost 3lbs I also reached the milestone of having lost 5% of my body weight... its amazing how seeing that has really helped convince me that this is do-able after all, i really can lose all that i need to as long as i keep at it and ignore the blips along the way :-))))))

You Lose, You (Don't) Snooze...

Ok, I know that saying is backwards but all will become clear in a minute.

Obviously we all know that the reasons for losing weight and getting fitter/healthly as a result outweigh (no pun intended!) the reasons not to by about, oh, a gzillion to, well, ZERO really. However, having said that, there are a few interesting quirks with this lark that they don't tell you about ...

Over the last few weeks I have been putting in the exercise, and socialising more and generaly doing lots more as a result of the extra energy I have from doing said exercise, all of which is good, but, I have a complaint (or 3! lol).

First off, I find that on days when i'm not doing serious exercise (mainly on my non-swimming days) I find it harder to get off to sleep at night due to just not having used enough energy during the day, this results in me being more tired, more hungry and, let's face it, grumpier the next day - all of which means that if i have serious swimming/gym time planned that day its so much tougher to get motivated and moving :-(  not sure what the answer to this is other than trying to fit in more exercise during every day.. which brings me neatly to my next problem.

My house is seriously suffering from Neglect! between my exercise routine, kids clubs, swimming with kids/friends and general running around I am now out for most evenings, and at least most of 4 weekdays every week.. and you would think that would mean less housework as there is no-one home to make a mess? well WRONG!  between my dear hubby (who is only really anround 1 full day a week - and to be fair does a fantastic job of chipping in with cooking, cleaning and organising children when he is here), my teenage daughter (who doesnt seem to understand the concept of putting stuff back where you found it, and leaves her rubbish all over the house), my 6 year old (wants all her stuff out on the floor at once and is just learning to do more stuff for herself and so is leaving my kitchen and bathroom looking like the aftermath of a tornado touchdown!), and my 19 month old toddler ('nough said really!), my house is coming close to being a health hazard. Once you add four 10 week old kittens, an indoor rabbit, and a parade of child/teen visitors you can begin to see my problem.  This problem also leads me to my 3rd issue (sort of!) ...

So far I have lost 20lbs in 7 weeks (another 3lb loss this week :-), and this is FANTASTIC!!  but, this means that I am already in need of new clothes, and due to problems 1 and2 I dont bleedin' well have time to go shop for them LOL ... online shopping is my friend normally, but after having to return 4 things this week that either didn't fit or i didnt like i am getting a bit irritated ... watch this space to see if I come up with a solution that works for this one ... or send me yours if you have it sussed! :-) 

so, to cap it off, its been a weird few weeks where I either couldn't sleep, didn't have time to sleep, or had too much going on to even give me the chance to try ... I need a holiday and a cleaner! in that order...but for now i'll have to make do with using a site i was told about this week to try and gain some control over the chaos  http://www.flylady.net/ 

Wish me luck (and come help dig me out if this idea fails!)   xx

Where's 'elf and safety when you need them...

... I ask because its got to be considered a hazzard to be carrying my toddler everywhere when she has the chicken pox and is being lazy and pathetic! lol ...  My arms are getting such a work I have to remember to keep changing sides or I am going to be lop-sided by next week! she isn't nicknamed the Boulder Baby for nothing!

On a happier note I am ultra proud of myself this week, have been getting the gym time in, heading for my 3rd swimming session of the week tonight, and - this is the one that really deserves a free halo polishing :-) -  I went out for dinner to Nando's with some friends last night --- and,--- while they had burgers with a ton of sauce & cheesecake/chocolate cake, I had a chicken pitta with salad and coleslaw as my sides, and fat free frozen yogurt for dessert :-)))))  I was amazed how much I actually enjoyed it, and it meant I went to bed last night with another 6 points safely tucked up in my ww bank meaning that I now have 11 saved, this will cover some wine tonight and some treats over the weekend!  YAY!!!

Waving, not Drowning...

... first off a big cheery wave to my new followers .. I didn't actually think anyone would read this rubbish so its very nice to see you guys, ... seriously, you should get out more *grin*

Yesterday was a really good day, I went to bed with 4 points to spare and swam 94 lengths at the pool - giving me a great start of 2350 metres ticked off my 29km March swimming challenge  :-) updating my ticker with that felt really good...

Today has been pretty boring overall, still stuck at home during most days with a spotty child - although she is on the mend and will hopefully be fighting fit to go back in the creche next tuesday so that I can get back to the gym when it's quiet.

This week I have been thinking about, and starting to make a list of all the little reasons why and the ways my life will be better once I lose more weight, as well as things I will then we able to do/try that I am either too cowardly to try yet or i just wouldnt fit on or into. I have added a page with a few of these so far (SEE NEW PAGE: Who Moved the Goal Posts?)  Hopefully this will help someone else as reading these lists on other blogs has helped me pin down some ideas that will help with motivating me in bad weeks!).

I have also started to write a list of non food rewards (SEE NEW PAGE: Mini Teats @ Mini Goals)  that I am going to treat myself to, and work out when i think I'll deserve them (apparently 'all the time' wasn't specific enough for my hubby's bank balance LOL) Any and all suggestions would be appreciated .  I have a big treat planned for my daughter and I in April - A Fancy spa day - IF she can lose a stone by then (has lost 8lbs so far) and I can get to 2 stones off (11lbs to get there)...Wish us Luck!

It's a Wrap! ...

Well, unless it's a Weight Watchers Wrap.. you can keep those 'orrible things :-( Dry, too thick and break when you roll them... must try harder WW. 'tut tut'

Boring subject maybe, but i have started to love wraps for lunch, and they have really helped my cut down on eating so much cheese and mayo & I even got wholemeal ones the last couple of weeks to help earn my halo polish!

But, i am starting to run out of ideas of what to put in them... must do some googling :-)

the last 2 days have been great food wise, I am going out tonight to a party for a friends big work promotion - getting promoted then going out boozing on a week night.. mmm Okay! lol - and even after i have dinner i'll have 11 points left for booze and nibbles.

my exercise plan for this week started today with swimming 94 lengths (did 80 last wed, and 90 on friday, so really happy with my progress!), and i plan to do 97 on Wed night, and hit the big 100 on friday night.. and i might just head to the gym for a bit of weights on sat night if i am still upright by then *grin*

on a side note, just wanted to say how proud I am of my hubby, David, he has been a huge help to me by sticking with the healthy eating and exercise too, and he has lost 9lbs in the last 6 weeks, so YAY! to that :-)

I am going to post a new pic of us both in a couple of weeks and hopefully see the differences ...