Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I blame Sesame Street!

How come 'Big' Bird was considered  an ok role mode?l, and what was up with that elephant snuffle -whatsit-thingy?? and don't even get me started on the rubbish eating psycho that lived in the bins!?!..  but my main complaint is they must have a housing shortage in that street because, today, the cookie monster seems to be living in my house!

I am feeling really annoyed with myself! With it being the school holidays I added a few extra goodies to the kids junk boxes this week, including bakery choc chip cookies from Sainsburys. Giving them out to the kids yesterday was fine, no thought about eating them at all, but today the smell grabbed me and I couldn't resist - I ate 4 of them, not so bad - but then I decided the kids had so much chocolate that they didnt really need them - so I ate the last 5 as well... having to guess a bit but I think about 12pts worth in total :-( 

Now, I have pointed them, and with what I have planned for dinner, I am still within my points for the day, so with the removal of a few snacks from my planner, the damage to my food intake is limited, but the damage done to my new feelings of control is deadly!  It really brought home to me just how fragile this new resolve of mine is and how close I still am to that tipping point that would return me to eating everything wrong and losing this new sence of wellbeing I have... and that scares the hell out of me!

I really have now idea why today this happened,  I'm not stressed, or bored, or actually any more hungry than normal - I had just eaten lunch! - About the only difference today is that I am starting to come down with a sniffy nose and as a result didnt sleep as well last night so I do feel a bit blah today, maybe its a sugar craving due to that...but I wouldnt have thought that could make such a difference so there really isnt anything I can pinpoint as a cause for sure, and that's scary too, it is going to be pretty hard to change this habit if I cant figure out what causes it in the first place :-((

Bottom line is it's done and time to move on, but its so bloody irritating to get through the chocolate stream of the easter weekend without touching the stuff, and then fall foul of something as pointless as biscuits! 

Maybe after not having any treats over Easter I am craving a bit of treating myself so with some saved points this week i'll give it a go -  wasting points on booze is an idea I could get behind! will test that theory at the weekend !  lol

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